How to Make a Face Mask with velcro opening.

First let me just say, I am not a fan of the face mask.  I do not like things touching my face, it's one of the reasons why I have about a million gaiters for the snow, and I never ever wear any of them.

But, before anyone gets their knickers in a twist..    yes, they are now mandatory, and yes, I will wear one during my limited time in public (which is now going to get even more limited.. because uh facemasks.)   If you need me, I'll be the person social distancing in my back yard, annoying the neighbors by playing my favorite albums from Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.

Without further complaints, I give you my pattern for Face Masks which actually has a velco pocket in it so you can put added filter material. They say using a hepa vacuum filter adds a good deal of protection (go for it!) or a coffee filter, or added material, what ever you find clever.  My mask just makes it easier for you to get the stuff in and out.

Supplies:
Fabric - cotton (read the CDC website if you need more info)
Elastic -
Velcro Dots - (or other velcro - up to you.)
Thread & Needle  or a sewing machine
Iron & Ironing Board.

1) Cut a piece of paper (for your pattern, either 9"x 6" or 10" x 7" depending on how big your face is.)

2) Lay the pattern on your fabric, but lay it on a fold (this makes one less thing you have to sew together.

3) Iron down the long edges 1/4" inch

4) Stitch down each of the edges.  This will later be your velcro pocket.

5) Line up your pieces of elastic.   I find that 6" works better for the 10 x 7 and 7" for the 9 x 6.

6) Flip over your folded top portion and stitch down both the sides to secure the elastic.  I like to do this twice to make it extra secure.

7) Flip the now little purse looking thing right side out.

8) Iron the sucker flat.

9) Fold it in half and iron it again.

10) open it and fold each side into the middle.   Iron it. 

11) Open it up and look at your pleats. Admire them. Then pinch them together down towards the open part. 

12) Stitch over both sides twice to secure the pleats. & Stitch across the top once because it's lonely and wants a little decoration.

13) Attach the velcro dots onto the original seams you made at the bottom of the mask.  Press together tightly to bond to glue.  If you are worried put a few stitches into them. But the glue usually gums up the machine.  If you press them with the iron to heat them up, you will get a good solid staying velcro that will last through many washes. 

14) Fill with your filter material of choice - make sure you use proper CDC guidelines and all that happy stuff for putting on and taking off your mask.   

** Note** either size will fit the N95 mask inside it if you need it to.

I'd say enjoy, but there isn't really anything joyous about sewing PPE....   so stay safe and be well.

Shrimp Proctologist

In the midst life shutdown 2020 (Covid-19) I found that I have a new life skill, which I am not sure I want to put on my resume, but certainly fun enough to tell ya'll about. 

Yesterday I went to the Mexican Market to purchase provisions.  I am a huge fan of their meat market.  I get most of my meat there, and often they have great deals on seafood.    Case in point, Shrimp was $3.49 a pound last night.

The trade off of amazingly fresh shrimp for a great price is the fact that they aren't really "prepared" as many of us are having done prior to purchase.  These little lovelies had their heads chopped off but nothing else.   

I decided to make Air Fryer Shrimp with them, and dredge them my amazing Winco Chicken Fry Batter.... 

But before I could do that, I needed to pop the skins off.   Which wasn't really hard to do.  In doing that, I realized that this particular group of shrimp were um... full of shit.   Now I know some people don't care about shrimp poop, but personally, I can't do that.  I like the butterfly look too,  so I pulled out the paring knife and went to work....

The Bottom ones are waiting for the proctologist.

It only takes a couple to get it down, you take a paring knife and trace down their little spines, then take your nail, and flip the two parts open and rinse under water.     Not rocket science.   I did 3 pounds of them, giggling the entire time telling each of the shrimps that it would just take a second, and yelling "next" as I picked up my next patient.

After finishing all of them, I dipped them in an egg wash, and then tossed them into the Winco batter, and popped into the airfryer.

and here is what the finished product looked like. 

The Finished Product.

They were quite delicious, we ate them artichokes, which was also good but not photo worthy.

We also had Ceviche which I made from the beautiful basa from the Mexican Market which was photo worthy. 

And I paired it with Ruby Shoes - a cocktail from Napa Valley Distillery.

You take 2 oz of the Makrut Lime Brandy, 1/2 oz NVD Red Raspberry Shrub, 1/2 oz Lime Juice and a few drops of Orange Bitters,  Shaken.  Which I did, but I then put it over ice, because that's how I prefer it.

and... due to the Shelter in Place... we had dinner, and drinks, and the kitchen was cleaned up by by 6:03 p.m.   Gonna make me into an early bird.

Make(ing) Up for Lost Time

I have a confession. For someone who has spent 90% of her adult life, on a daily basis wearing little more than tinted moisturizer, chapstick and mascara, I am obsessed with make up.

It's a weird obsession, because I don't really like learning how to put it on, or actually wearing it for that matter. For example, I think I own like 15 different types of highlighter and 3+ contour kits, and I don't have the faintest clue what the fuck to do with any of it.  That said, I am still obsessed with buying different palates of things, and um, well, stuffing them into a drawer, waiting for a rainy day to try them out. 

I figure my make up ownership is kinda like exercise equipment.  Owning it should usurp the need to use it, and by merely owning it, magically, I'll be slimmer, trimmer, stronger, just on the principle of ownership.  With make up, owning it magically removes lines and creases around my eyes and forehead, and moisturizes my skin, giving me a more youthful appearance, and of course automatically makes my eyes appear larger, and lashes thicker and fuller.... ah!  the magic of ownership!

Yeah, yeah, it's faulty logic, but it's my faulty logic.

Anyway,  I have decided as part of the work/life balancing project of Shelter in Place thanks to Covid-19, that my rainy day has arrived.  Yes, that's right.  I have decided to bust out much of the make up that has been waiting patiently for me to try it, and see what it's like.

So this is my fair warning to everyone out there.  If you see me at the grocery store looking like something from Fraggle Rock.  Don't worry, I'm just experimenting, and likely forgot I put it on before stepping out of the house.

 I don't know if I'll get through the crazy extensive inventory - but it's worth a shot.   Maybe I will even develop a method to the madness so I can describe how I applied it when something works out in the positive (or what ever).  And I'll try to put links to stuff in here too, in case anyone wants to try something out as well.

Stay tuned!

Yard Duty

Photo: Cymbidium Orchid in my back yard that I inherited from my mom, that finally decided to fucking bloom. Note:  The bloom is incredible, I am just a really shitty photographer. 

The Shelter in Place order proved to be just the incentive I needed on Sunday to go out and do some yard work.   So there I was for the better part of 4 hours yesterday, dead heading my roses, and planting more herbs in the herb garden.  I also decided to start weeding the flower beds.  I'm about 50% of the way done.   

I am sure I was a sight to behold, in my lovely old running shorts, t-shirt rolled up to avoid tan lines, and of course FULL makeup (because of THIS) which may or may not be the reason why I now have a fat zit on my chin.  While trolling around in my back yard, I came up with a list of reasons as encouragement for me to continue doing yard work in the near future:   

#1)  Sheltering in Place has closed the tanning salon. I have been working way too fucking hard at making sure my legs don't blind anyone with their whiteness, and therefore as it stands for now, every opportunity when the sun is out and it's warm enough to be in shorts, and outside, my ass is going to be outside trying to soak up the sun. You can all thank me for this kind act later.  

#2) Yardwork is fucking exercise disguised as something that benefits you in the long run.  So not only do I get a pretty yard out of the deal, I move my ass about, and that burns calories, which means I have more options for eating and drinking (ok, mostly drinking).  Don't think so?  Try weeding at a break neck speed for 2.5 hours.  It's like productive cardio, plus all that bending!  You find muscles you totally forgot about in the process. 

#3) I have certain neighbors who are perpetually annoyed by my presence.  Therefore I like to return the favor, and working in the yard provides the perfect back drop.  Yesterday they were treated to my sharing one of my favorite I-pod play list with them, which I sang (loudly) along to.  I hope they enjoyed the selection of Mana, Nickelback, and Ma$e, mixed with old school country for a -never know what's going to come up next surprise! I almost can't wait for the next sunny day and another play list to finish my yard chores. Perhaps next time I will attempt a sing a long to CATs. 

#4) Weeding is like meditation.  Picture it, me, working a patch of the yard furiously grabbing weeds using both hands, while chanting "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you."   I'm mother fucking zen now.  

#5) I actually enjoy it once I am out there, but finding the time (i.e. shitty work/life balance) has been hard up until now. 

I keep telling myself if I schedule it into my 'life time' then it won't be such a big mess, and hard to do all at once.   Yeah.  We will see how long I live up to that promise... 

How I Spent My Spring Break

The above photo is 2 quarters of my Napa Valley Distillery club shipment booze, which I decided needed to be sampled. Not shown, the bitters and shrubs that were part of the shipments to make various cocktails, which may (or may not) become fodder for future posts. 

Wow, exactly 11 years since the last time I posted anything on this blog.  Given the state of the world at the moment, i.e., the shelter in place thanks to Covid-19 and how it’s pretty much altering the way everyone lives, I’ve decided that now was a fantastic time to make some positive changes in my life.   Having something to write (and to read) that isn’t gloom and doom in the media seemed like a good place to start. Plus it will be a good place to rid me of all my fantastic sarcasm. 

One of the reasons it took me 11 years to update this blog is because I am shitty at balancing work/life.  This is especially true of the “life” side of the equation. Recently, I told someone that although each morning tends to start out promising, by noon, my well organized plan of attack, looks more like rabid squirrels at a gang bang.   

Last week was M’s spring break from school.  He and G had plans to go to Lake Tahoe to Ski and spend time with G’s family.   Last Tuesday they embarked on the trip, only to arrive in South Lake and learn that the casinos were closing at midnight, and that the Ski Resorts who had originally shut to evaluate the situation decided they would close for the season.   Wednesday they returned home.  I am not sure who was more disappointed by this development – them, or me?  

See, when I am home alone a very magical thing happens.   I get shit done.  I am 1000 times more productive when left alone.   I would like to pass it off simply as I am not interrupted as much but reality is that my sleep wake schedule morphs into something peculiar.  Suddenly 2 a.m., is go time, and I no longer need more than 20 minute naps to refresh and revive.    

For weeks prior to ski break, I have been planning my to-do lists.   Work things, personal things, organizational things, general cleaning things, things upon things that I wanted to do were being written down and scheduled with precision into my alone time.   The anticipation of it all turns me into a kid waiting for Christmas morning, so hearing they were coming back so soon, was the equivalent of finding out Santa isn’t real.

Couple losing my week of “to-do accomplishing” with learning that the world was being shut down until further notice, by mid-week, I knew that 1 of 2 things were certain.  Either I had to make some changes, or I was going to lose my damn mind.   And since White Jackets aren’t really my thing, I opted to at least try making some changes.  Deciding on these changes and mapping out a plan took some time, but since the hope of actually accomplishing anything last week was dashed, I figured I could call it a win, if I at least made a plan to succeed in the future…  It’s like New Year Resolutions 2.0

What I came up with.

-Establish a better work / life balance (generally)

On the work side, since I am working from home for the foreseeable future, I am going to keep normal office hours and not respond to emails and calls that are work related outside of normal business hours.  Usually for me, I work Tuesday-Friday, and reserve Monday’s as my catch up day, but I am also pretty well known for working through an entire weekend on work projects. For this “balance” experiment to be effective, I won’t be working Saturday/Sunday starting immediately.

On the life side (which is really the side I need to improve upon)

-Set aside time each week to take care of personal business items (making appointments / gathering tax documents, organizing my personal documents etc.)

-Set aside time to do something I enjoy, and actually do it.  Stop having other things “pop-up” and kill my plan.  

So far:

I’ve worked in the yard Yard Duty

Went to the ranch Ranch Life

Found a new hobby I bought a shotgun

Plans to sample make up Make Up for Lost Time

Since the gym, tanning salon, and weight watchers are currently closed, I am working on trying to include those things into my life too – which will likely result in random adventures that I will hopefully remember to write about in the near future (and not wait 10 + years to update this blog!)